We Three Kings
Note: If you don’t have three men to perform this skit, you can have a girl use a prop beard (which can be a shirt, piece of paper, etc.) and she can be one of the wise men.
NARRATOR: The Christmas story is one of the greatest stories ever told. It has so many memorable people such as Mary, Joseph, the Shepherds. And don’t forget, the three wise men. Not much is known about the wise men. We know that they journeyed from far away and that it must have been a long journey to Bethlehem. Surely, on that journey they talked with one another. What would they have talked about? Well, those conversations might have gone something like this…
(The three wise men enter the stage. Swaying back and forth like they are each on camels.)
SECOND: Hut hut! (Clicks the tongue and smacks the camels back) Wow, Thanksgiving at King Herod's place was really great!
THIRD: Yeah, he gave us so much left overs!
FIRST: What a great guy!
WISE MEN: Yeah!
FIRST: How much longer do we have to follow the North Star?
THIRD: North Star?
SECOND: We’re not supposed to follow the north star! (They halt on their camels) We're supposed to be following that star. (points in the different direction, they all turn their camels facing the audience)
THIRD: So what are you guys bringing the Christ child?
SECOND: I’m bringing gold.
WISE MEN: Nice.
FIRST: I’m bringing Frankincense and because of some really good black Friday sales, I also bought Myrrh.
WISE MEN: Ooh Myrrh…
THIRD: I’m bringing a Christmas ham.
SECOND: A Christmas ham?
FIRST: You can’t bring a ham!
THIRD: Why not?
SECOND: He’s jewish!
FIRST: Here, you can have my Myrrh.
WISE MEN: Ooh Myrrh…
SECOND: Do you guys think we’ll ever be famous?
FIRST: Well, we are Kings. I just hope they don’t use our names.
THIRD: That’s just because you don’t want your birth name to go down in history, Beverley. (Runs up with the camel) Hut hut! (clicks tongue)
FIRST: I told you, that’s not my name anymore! I rode my camel to the courthouse and changed it to Wise Man #1!
SECOND: Relax. They’ll probably just call us the three kings.
THIRD: Maybe they’ll sing a song about us.
SECOND: How do you think it would go?
THIRD: Well, we've never really thought about it, and we've never practiced or anything. But if they did sing praises in the streets about us, it would probably go something like.
WISE MEN: “We three kings of orient are, bearing gifts we traverse afar. Field and fountain, moor and mountain, following yonder star…” (pause) Naaaah!
SECOND: Man, it feels like we’ve been traversing forever. How much more-
1ST & 3RD: Ooh, Myrrh…
SECOND: No! I said More not Myrrh-
WISE MEN: Ooh, Myrrh…
SECOND: Why did I say it too? (changes subject) The point is, I’m bored. (excited) I know, let’s play a game. I spy with my little eye something brown.
SECOND: Woah. I spy with my little eye something grainy.
SECOND: Wow, You guys are good. I spy with my little eye something…
1ST & 3RD: Sand.
THIRD: Let me guess your next one… sand.
SECOND: Wow. That is creepy! You must be prophetic.
FIRST: Nope. Just wise! Hey guys I need to use the little Wiseman’s room. (Runs up with the camel and is in front) Hut hut! (Clicks tongue)
THIRD: What? Why didn’t you go at the Oasis?
SECOND: I didn’t have to go then.
THIRD: Well, you’re just going to have to wait until we get to Bethlehem.
SECOND: Or we can find the nearest Starbucks. (pulls out phone from the camel. Holds it close to face. Press and holds. Click Click, Bloop, bloop.) ASSYRIA. TAKE ME TO THE NEAREST STARBUCKS.
FIRST: No, it's okay. I'll just wait till we make it to Bethlehem. Even if it takes an entire six months! (looks up) Oh look, we're inside Bethlehem.
FIRST: Oh I can’t wait to lay my head down on a tempurpedic - I mean - straw bed!
THIRD: Wait, where are we staying tonight?
SECOND: Well, I’m sure there’s room in the Inn.
THIRD: (laughs at self) Duh! What was I thinking? Of course there’s room in the Inn. Like there wouldn’t be room in the Inn!
FIRST: Does everybody have their gifts ready?
WISE MEN: Ooh, Myrrh.
SECOND: You know we could have shaved two years off our journey.
1ST & 3RD: Wait, how?!
SECOND: IF we purchased REAL camels. (They all look down)
THIRD: Yeah, swaying wisely our entire journey to bethlehem has been exhausting!
FIRST: Oh look, there's the inn!
(They all walk normally off the stage)