SUBSCRIBE

Sign up for team updates, merchandise, and testimonies on the road!

We respect your privacy

New Man

1st Gen. 

(Sketch begins with New Man walking on stage while the Old Man is following closely behind him.)

NEW MAN:    Leave me alone! Go away. Leave me alone! Can’t you just leave me alone, Old Man?

OLD MAN:     Look, New Man, I can’t leave you alone. You need me.

NEW MAN:    No, I don’t need you! I’m going to go read my Bible.

OLD MAN:     You need more muscles, don’t you? The only way to build them up is to eat.

NEW MAN:    Well, I am a little hungry.

OLD MAN:     There’s some pizza in the refrigerator. Why don’t you go get it?

NEW MAN:    You know, Old Man, pizza is my favorite. And I am hungry, so let’s eat.

(Mimes opening a refrigerator, he pulls out the pizza and begins to devour it.)

OLD MAN:     That’s it! (jumps on New Man’s back) Eat! Eat! Eat! Feed that flesh!

NEW MAN:    (stops) Wait a minute. You want me to feed my flesh and not my Spirit?

OLD MAN:     Yeah!

NEW MAN:    No! (Shakes the Old Man off. Old Man falls to the floor)

OLD MAN:     Ow! Help me up, would you?

NEW MAN:    (Reaches down and helps Old Man up) You’re getting a little weak there, Old Man. 

OLD MAN:     Yeah, and you’re getting strong. I wouldn’t be so weak if you’d stop using that word.

NEW MAN:    What word? You mean “No?”

OLD MAN:     Ouch! Yeah, that one.

NEW MAN:    Well, I am going to go pray, and you can’t stop me.

OLD MAN:     (Grabs New Man and pulls him back) Wait! Who are you going to pray to?

NEW MAN:    God of course. Who else? Why?

OLD MAN:     When you go pray to God, don’t you feel like you’re talking to a wall? What you need is someone you can talk to… like a girl. How about Becky?

NEW MAN:    I haven’t talked to Becky in a while.

OLD MAN:     Maybe you forgot what she looks like. Here, let me remind you; blonde hair…

NEW MAN:    Blonde hair…

OLD MAN:     Blue eyes…

NEW MAN:    Blue eyes…

OLD MAN:     And perfect teeth!

NEW MAN:    Perfect teeth….

OLD MAN:     Why don’t you call her up and talk to her? Talk to Becky and not God.

NEW MAN:    (Mimes picking up a telephone. Old Man jumps on New Man’s back again) Hello, Becky? (Hangs up phone) Wait a minute! Spend time with Becky, and not with God? No. (Shakes the Old Man off. Old Man falls to the floor) Now, I am going to go read my Bible and pray, so just leave me alone. Okay?

OLD MAN:     Fine. Leave me.

NEW MAN:    Wait. You’re going to leave me alone?

OLD MAN:     Yeah, if you want to be boring. Remember Jimmy? All your friends are going to this party he's throwing tonight. There's gonna be drugs, drinking... girls! The whole shamboozle!

NEW MAN:    I love Shamboozles!

OLD MAN:     Right! So, onward to Jimmy's house! (jumps on New Man's back)

NEW MAN:    (realizes) Wait a minute. No!

OLD MAN:     (falls off and to the ground)

NEW MAN:    No! No! No! I am not going to allow this anymore. I am a new creation in Christ and the old things – that’s you – have passed away. Now you play dead and leave me alone! (exits)

OLD MAN:     I hate it when he says that.

THE END