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Silent Mode

Chris Wineland


(Tommy and Ashley walk in to Pastor Ken’s office while on the phone)


Tommy: (distracted on the phone) Hey Pastor Ken. You wanted to talk to us before we left? Youth was fun today. (holds up phone) I tweeted about it non-stop.


Pastor Ken: Yeah, I noticed. I also noticed that at the end, I challenged everyone to give up their phone for 24 hours and you two were the only ones who didn’t give up your phones. And to be honest Tommy, I made that challenge specifically for you and your sister. Because your both always on your phone.


(Pastor Ken notices Tommy and Ashley texting away)


Pastor Ken: Like right now! Who are you talking to?


Tommy: Oh I’m talking to Ashley.


Pastor Ken: Ashley’s standing right next to you! What do you possibly have to say to your sister that you can’t say out loud?


(Tommy stops texting and looks at Pastor Ken in fear. Then drops his head back down to the phone.)


Pastor Ken: I’m serious you two. You need to take this challenge. Ever since you got your phones you’ve been consumed. Hand me your phones and I’ll give it back to you tomorrow.


Tommy: Ashley says you’re the worst youth pastor ever. And that you’re getting pudgy.


Pastor Ken: Ashley if you have something to say, you can say it straight to me.


(Ashley looks up for a second then texts quickly. Pastor Ken gets a text and opens it)


Pastor Ken: (reads) “You’re pudgy like a quail.” I didn’t mean text me. Also, I don’t think that’s fair to me or a quail.


(Pastor Ken holds out hand)


Pastor Ken: Now how about you give me your phones?


(Pastor Ken gets another text)


Pastor Ken: (reads) “choke on a hammer” see this is what I’m talking about. You guys are disrespectful now.


(Tommy takes a selfie with Pastor in the background)


Pastor Ken: What just happened Tommy?


Tommy: I had to take a lecture selfie. (says as he types on phone) Hashtag Back in his day. Hashtag old-


Pastor Ken: You know I can hear you right?


Tommy: (Continues) Hashtag quail.


Pastor Ken: Okay that’s not… Wait is quail trending?


Tommy: (Continues) Hashtag balding.


Pastor Ken: Hey! I am not Balding. My hair is just thin. (Ken gets a text and reads it) “That’s the only thing about you that’s thin.”


Tommy: (Chuckles) You can say that again Ashley.


Pastor Ken: She didn’t say anything! (sighs) So let me get this straight. You refuse to give up your phone for just 24 hours in order to pursue God deeper?


(Pastor Ken gets another text)


Pastor Ken: I gave you guys my number for emergencies! I’m not reading your texts anymore.


Tommy: It’s not us that time.


Pastor Ken: Oh then I better check it. (Reads) “I hope they invent a shrinking app on my phone so I can shrink you and put you in a child’s book bag and then shrink that book bag and put it in another book bag, then send that book bag to a post office with no return to sender.” What does that even mean?


Tommy: Haha! Gotee!


Pastor Ken: I’m tired of this! You guys have become so consumed with your phones that you stopped spending time with God. Your parents told me that you stopped praying and reading at home. You come to church and pretend to focus on God but you can’t even do that. Face it! You’re focused on the world. So I’ll tell you what; If you’re not going to give up your phones then give up your bibles. At least you’ll be clear at where you stand.


Tommy:  We can’t give up our bibles.


Pastor Ken: Finally! You’re standing up for your faith! You’re making a decision to live for God and keep your eyes on the things above instead of the things of this world! I’ve reached you!


Tommy: No it’s not that. We just can’t give up our bibles.


Pastor Ken: Why?


Tommy: Because we don’t know where they are.



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