(2 characters; Tracy & Theo. Tracy starts standing on Theo's back)
THEO: What do you see?
TRACY: I see trees, people, more trees...
THEO: Tracy, do you see anything important? Like, I don't know, a way to get out?
TRACY: Oh... no, I don't.
THEO: Then get off!
TRACY: Fine then.
THEO: Another night in jail.
TRACY: Want to see something funny?
TRACY: (sing song) Yoohoo! Roman soldier! Heeeeey! Are you missing something? (to Theo) Watch this! (to the Roman Soldier) Your handkerchief perhaps? (wave around a tissue) Come and get it... Hey! Did you hear me? I have your handkerchief!
THEO: Stop it. You're just embarrassing yourself.
TRACY: But did you see his face? He was so confused. He didn't even know I had his handkerchief.
THEO: Tracy, you should have grabbed the keys! They were in the same pocket!
TRACY: I didn't want to get in trouble.
THEO: Where are we right now?
THEO: I'm pretty sure we're already in trouble.
TRACY: We aren't gonna be here long are we? I have plans tomorrow.
THEO: That's nice. Lunch with your mom again?
TRACY: Yes... Why do I always let you talk me into getting in trouble?
THEO: Because you're my friend and that's what friend do?
TRACY: I think we went too far this time.
THEO: Nah, we're good. My father used to hide and sneak all the time. He never got caught.
TRACY: The children's game? Hide and seek?
THEO: No, hide and sneak. (pretend to be stealing things)
TRACY: Oh, that makes sense.
THEO: Just think, tomorrow we will be out in town, living it up. Robbing places. Relaxing, letting the sun kiss our faces.
TRACY: Eating lunch with my mom!
THEO: Eating lunch with your mom...
TRACY: Yeah, okay. But...
TRACY: We stole a lot of stuff.
THEO: And? A lot of people steal?
TRACY: Who's house did we rob last night? Was it Joseph son of Loseph?
THEO: Hm... no.
TRACY: Was it Obed son of Hobed?
THEO: Definitely not.
TRACY: Was it Saul son of Daul?
THEO: I think so! Wait, no. That was last week.
TRACY: (pause) Oh! It was Kyle!
THEO: That's right. The only thing you should be sorry for is getting us caught.
TRACY: How was I supposed to know that she was such a light sleeper? That was woman looked like Lazarus walking out of the grave. I don't know who was more scared. Her, me, or the camel!
THEO: I love my job. Always an adventure.
TRACY: This isn't really a job, Theo.
THEO: Sure it is!
TRACY: Like how?
THEO: We work the night shift, we have a special skill set, and we get money. Definitely a job.
TRACY: Theo, people worked really hard for that stuff.
THEO: And so do we! And since when did you grow a conscience? You know as well as I do that you'll be doing this again tomorrow. Stop acting so holy.
TRACY: I just can't stop thinking about what that Jesus guy said. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.
THEO: He wasn't talking about us.
TRACY: Maybe not. But that's all we've ever done.
THEO: Hey! I'm not a murderer!
TRACY: No! I'm just saying that we-
THEO: We're what?
TRACY: We've hurt people.
THEO: I don't want to talk about this anymore.
(sit in silence for a moment)
TRACY: What is going on out there? Do you hear that? Here, Theo, give me a boost.
THEO: (let Tracy stand on back) What's going on?
TRACY: I can't really see... Wait... There's three crosses... Someone's gonna be crucified... wait... It's Jesus!
THEO: Ha! That guy caused such an uproar. They've been wanting to stone him since he got here. Guess it finally caught up to him.
TRACY: What? Why? He hasn't done anything wrong.
THEO: He's a liar and a-
TRACY: Theo. Theo. Theo... There are soldiers headed towards us.
THEO: What do you mean?
TRACY: Three crosses. Jesus... You and me.
THEO: No! We didn't do anything wrong! We don't deserve to be crucified!
TRACY: No, Theo. We do. Jesus said-
THEO: Shut up! I don't want to talk about him! If he really is the Son of God then he wouldn't be on that cross, would he? Forget about him!
TRACY: Theo, I think He's telling the truth. We need him.
THEO: Shut up! You know what? I don't need you! I don't need him! Just shut up! (yell in anger and then bow out)
TRACY: (take a couple steps towards the audience, raise your arms into the shape of a cross, look up) Jesus... please remember me.