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IDLE NEWS

Micah Acker + Nick Claudio + Chris Wineland

 

(News music plays. There is a desk with two news anchors. There is a phone on the desk.)

NICK:       Thanks for tuning into I.D.L.E. Idle news.

MICAH:    The news inside your brain. Keeping your mind entertained while you're idle.

NICK:        I’m your co-host, Nick.

MICAH:    And I’m your co-host, Micah. Isn’t it a great day Nick?

NICK:        It is indeed, Micah. A great day to sit down and do nothing. 

MICAH:    Nothing is our speciality. Speaking of specialty, we had a delicious chai tea latte. 

NICK:        What was the secret ingredient? We’ll let you know as soon as we figure it out.  What’s our next piece of news there Nick?

MICAH:    You mean Micah?

NICK:       No, I was asking myself. (answers himself) Thanks for asking Nick. Our next topic is the cat video you’ve been watching all night.

MICAH:    That adorable 3 second video of a cat playing guitar. 

NICK:        Let’s take a look.

(both look off to the side for three seconds, then laugh at the same time)

NICK:        That’s just adorable.

MICAH:    Oh it’s so cute, we could watch it all night.

NICK:        We did! But instead of watching a cat video, today we’re going to binge on movies. The question is, which movies do we want to waste our day on?

(While Nick is talking someone runs and slips Micah a piece of paper. Micah is immediately alarmed)

MICAH:    Sorry to interrupt Nick. It’s urgent news. We’ve just been given a call from God.

NICK:       What? Let me see that. (reads the note) Wow. I can’t believe we have a calling… (thinks for a second) wait a second. This is pretty random. This has to be a prank. 

MICAH:    It does?

NICK:       Yep. Sorry Micah but you just fell for a prank. We get random thoughts in the brain all the time. This is just another one of those random thoughts.

(Just then a guy runs up and slips Micah another note)

MICAH:    Uh Nick we have another note.

NICK:       Let me see this.

(Nick picks up the note and reads it out loud)

NICK:        (reads) this is not just another one of those random thoughts. This is an actual calling.

MICAH:    (to the camera) Breaking news: God has given us a calling.

NICK:        Not so fast Micah. Have you looked at this calling?

MICAH:    Well yeah, a little bit.

NICK:       We’re not qualified to do this. He doesn’t (covers a mic) He doesn’t know how to do any of that.

MICAH:    Well he’ll learn. God will give him the resources he needs to achieve it. Maybe he’ll take classes.

NICK:       With what money? We’re broke!

(guy slips paper) 

MICAH:    This just in.

NICK:        Ah let me read it. (reads deadpan) God will provide the money.

MICAH:    In case you’re just tuning in, God has given us a calling and will provide the resources to make it happen.

NICK:       (frustrated) We don’t know that for a fact.

(guy runs in with another paper) 

MICAH:    This just in-

NICK:        Don’t. 

(Micah looks at paper and slowly slinks hand to the paper. While Nick watches and shakes his head no, she slowly pulls the not towards her and then suddenly looks at it and quickly reads it out loud.)

MICAH:    (reads) It’s a fact.

NICK:        Stop it okay. Think about it. Having a calling from God, any calling from God, would mean we’d have to change our life. We’d have to make personal sacrifices. We’d have to live differently. Our time would be spent doing that instead of watching movies and being idle.

MICAH:    SO are you saying you don’t believe that God is calling or that you don’t want him to?

NICK:       (caught in truth) I-uh… Look, all we’ve gotten is notes. Now if I had more proof than I’d be all about this calling.

MICAH:    Really? 

NICK:        Yeah. Sure. But we don’t have any more proof than just a couple of thoughts.

(suddenly the phone starts to ring. Nick freezes.)

MICAH:    The phone’s ringing. (Micah reaches to pick up the phone)

NICK:        Don’t answer!

MICAH:    But we’ve never got a call like this before. I think we need to-

NICK:       (to camera) Uh that’s all the time we have.

MICAH:    Answer the phone-

NICK:       (talking louder) Thanks for tuning in to-

MICAH:    Answer the phone.

NICK:       (talking even louder) I.D.L.E. Idle news. Keeping your mind entertained while you’re idle. Play the music!

 

The news music plays.

 

THE END