
IDLE NEWS
Micah Acker + Nick Claudio + Chris Wineland
(News music plays. There is a desk with two news anchors. There is a phone on the desk.)
VOICE OVER MIC: Do-do-do-do-do-do-do I D L E Idle News!
NICK: Thanks for tuning into I.D.L.E. Idle news.
MICAH: The news inside your brain. Keeping your mind entertained while you're idle.
NICK: I’m your co-host, Nick.
MICAH: And I’m your co-host, Micah. Isn’t it a great day Nick?
NICK: It is indeed, Micah. A great day to sit down and do nothing.
MICAH: Nothing is our speciality. Speaking of special-TEA, we had a delicious chai tea latte.
NICK: What was the secret ingredient? We’ll let you know as soon as we figure it out. What’s our next piece of news there Nick?
MICAH: You mean Micah?
NICK: No, I was asking myself. (answers himself) Thanks for asking Nick. Oh you're so welcome (handsome or beautiful). Our next topic is the cat video you’ve been watching all night.
MICAH: That adorable 3 second video of a cat playing guitar.
NICK: Let’s take a look.
(both look off to the side)
VOICE OVER MIC: Meow.
(both laugh at the same time)
NICK: (laughing) That’s just adorable.
MICAH: Oh it’s so cute, we could watch it all night.
NICK: And we did! But instead of watching a cat video, today we’re going to binge on movies. The question is, which movies do we want to waste our day on?
(While Nick is listing the genres of movies, someone runs and slips Micah a piece of paper. Micah is immediately alarmed)
MICAH: Sorry to interrupt Nick. It’s urgent news. We’ve just been given a call from God.
NICK: What? Let me see that. (reads the note) Wow. I can’t believe we have a calling… (thinks for a second) wait a second. This is pretty random. This has to be a prank.
MICAH: It does?
NICK: Yep. Sorry Micah but you just fell for a prank. We get random thoughts in the brain all the time. This is just another one of those random thoughts.
(Just then a guy runs up and slips Micah another note)
MICAH: Uh Nick we have another note.
NICK: Let me see this.
(Nick picks up the note and reads it out loud)
NICK: (reads) this is not just another one of those random thoughts. This is an actual calling.
MICAH: (out to audience) Breaking news: God has given us a calling.
NICK: Not so fast Micah. Have you looked at this calling?
MICAH: Well yeah, a little bit.
NICK: We’re not qualified to do this. We don't--(stage whisper) we don’t know how to do any of that.
MICAH: Well, we can learn. Maybe we can take a class..
NICK: With what money? We’re broke!
(guy slips paper)
MICAH: This just in.
NICK: Ahhh, let me read it. (reads deadpan) God will provide the money.
MICAH: In case you’re just tuning in, God has given us a calling and will provide the resources to make it happen.
NICK: (frustrated) We don’t know that for a fact.
(guy runs in with another paper, giving it to Micah, she looks over to Nick)
NICK: Don’t do it. (Micah stops, then slowly starts to continue) HEY I said no! (Micah stops, then slowly starts to open it) STOP! Stop it! (Micah rips it open)
MICAH: (gasp) It’s a fact!!
NICK: Stop it okay. Think about it. Having a calling from God, any calling from God, that would mean we’d have to change everything. We’d have to make sacrifices. We would actually have to stop being idle.
MICAH: Are you saying you don't believe this is a calling from God (getting a little more serious) or you just don't want it to be.
NICK: (caught in truth) I-uh… Look, all we’ve gotten is notes. Now if I had more proof than I’d be all about this calling.
MICAH: Really?
NICK: Yeah. Sure. But we don’t have any more proof than just a couple of thoughts.
VOICE OVER MIC: RING RING, RING RING
(guy with the notes runs in freaked out holding their phone out showing there is a call from God)
MICAH: The phone’s ringing. (Micah reaches over to grab the phone)
NICK: Don’t answer!
(These next few lines are overlapping)
MICAH: But we’ve never got a call like this before. I think we need to-
NICK: (to audience) Uh that’s all the time we have for today.
MICAH: Answer the phone-We are being called we need to answer!
NICK: (talking louder) Thanks for tuning in! Cue the music!
(All three freeze as the music starts, Micah reaching towards the phone, the guy starting to hand over the phone and Nick trying to stop them)
VOICE OVER MIC: Do-do-do-do-do-do-do I D L E Idle News!
THE END