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Heart Attack

1st Gen.

(5 characters; Joshua, Heart, Druggy, Friend, Harlot. Joshua and Heart start out center stage)

JOSHUA:      Hi, my name is Joshua! I want you guys to meet someone that’s very near and dear to me… I want you guys to meet my heart.

HEART:          (steps out from behind him) Bum bum!

JOSHUA:      I like my heart... I love my heart! And in loving my heart, I want to make sure I exercise and eat right. I also want to take care of my heart spiritually, to keep it always safe. To always protect it and always keep it strong. It says in the Bible to guard your heart and mind through Christ Jesus. So, I pray that God will open my eyes to protect my heart from attacks because I want my heart to be pure and holy.

FRIEND:        Hey, Josh.

JOSHUA:      Hey, (insert name).

 

FRIEND:        How's it going?

 

JOSHUA:      Pretty good.

 

FRIEND:        Guess what?

 

JOSHUA:      What?

 

FRIEND:        I’ve got two tickets to Bloody Blood Bath 5. You want to go?

HEART:          (worried and slightly scared) Bum bum?

JOSHUA:      Oh man! I’ve been waiting to see that movie for weeks… but I don’t know. I’ve been thinking. Maybe I shouldn’t go see it.

FRIEND:        Sure you should! While you’re watching, I'll attack your heart! (Pose for kung- fu fight)

HEART:          (surprised) Bum bum?

JOSHUA:       I know what this is, it’s an attack on my heart… Stand back, heart! I'll protect you! (pose for kung fu fight) You will never get to my heart! (Mimic a badly filmed Japanese movie)

FRIEND:         Yes, I will, Slim Jim! (mimics Japanese movie)

JOSHUA:       No, you won’t, big boy! (mimics Japanese movie)

(Wait for music cue and fight "kung fu", Joshua wins and Steven crawls away)

JOSHUA:       Good thing I was focused and able to protect you from that attack. Whew!

DRUGGY:       (Come out slow like a stoner) Hey, Josh.

 

JOSHUA:       Hey.

 

DRUGGY:       How's it going, man?

 

JOSHUA:       Good. How are you?

 

DRUGGY:       Great, man. I got this stuff. You want some?

HEART:           (disagreeing) Bum bum.

 

JOSHUA:       I don’t know. I’m not really into that stuff.

 

DRUGGY:       Come on, man. You take a quick puff, while I attack your heart. (pull out a sword and act like a pirate)

HEART:          (in a "not again" manner) Bum bum.

 

JOSHUA:       Whoa! I almost let her in. Stand back, heart. I'll protect you. (pull out a sword) You stay away from my heart or you’ll regret it!

 

DRUGGY:       We're at the edge of the map here, laddy. Here? We be monsters. (begin sword fighting going back and forth until the Druggy brings Joshua to the ground) It's all over for you, boy.

 

JOSHUA:       (look at Heart and get inspired, shove Druggy back and win the fight) Whew! That was close. Good thing I stayed focused and was able to protect you. Now all I have to do is stay focused and you’ll be protected.

 

HEART:           (agreeing) Bum bum.

 

HARLOT:        (Come out flirty) Hey, Josh.

HEART:           (be dramatic; quick and fast paced) Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum.

 

JOSHUA:       Hey, (insert name). (flirt back)

 

HARLOT:        How’s it going?

 

JOSHUA:       Good. How are you?

 

HARLOT:        I’m good. You look nice today.

 

JOSHUA:       Thanks. You look good too.

 

HARLOT:        Thanks! So, did you hear about Katie’s party?

 

JOSHUA:       No…

 

HARLOT:        Well, I was invited to go and I was planning on going, but I don’t want to go alone… Would you go with me?

 

JOSHUA:       SURE… I’d love to go!

 

HARLOT:        And maybe afterwards we can go to lover’s peak.

JOSHUA:       (excited) WOW…YEAH!

 

HARLOT:        Think of how much fun we’ll have, especially now that I have your heart!

 

JOSHUA:       No, not my heart. Anything but my heart. Please, not my heart!

 

HARLOT:        It’s too late. (shoot the heart) BANG!

 

HEART:           (fall to knees in slow motion)

 

JOSHUA:       (run over to the heart in slow motion and catch him heart) No! It's okay, heart. It's okay, little buddy. Come on! You can make it through. You have the strength to make it through. Come on! You can make it.

 

HEART:           (sad) Bum bum. (motion for him to leave him behind)

 

JOSHUA:       Leave you behind? Never. Wherever you go, I follow. Besides, when all else fails, I still know CPR.

 

HEART:          (pop your eyes real big and get up)

JOSHUA:       (get up, excited) Oh! You're ok. You're alright! I’m so happy… Come on! Bring it in to hug harbor. Come on! (make tug boat noise) Heart, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let her get to you. I knew what kind of a person she was and I shouldn’t have let her get so close. You know what, heart? I'll never let that happen again. It says in the Bible to guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life. So from now on, I’m going to protect and never let anyone get to you. I’m going to keep my eyes focused.

HARLOT:        Hi, josh!

JOSHUA:       (yell, push heart to the side and step over to harlot, pull out a sword)

HARLOT:        Whoa!

THE END