HUSBAND: Hi, honey. I’m home.
WIFE: Hey, dear. Have a nice day at work?
HUSBAND: Not really. I had to fire someone today.
WIFE: That’s nice, dear.
HUSBAND: (agitated) Oh, brother... you got my dinner?
WIFE: It’s right here, I made your favorite tonight, spaghetti and meatballs!
HUSBAND: Aww, honey, c'mon. That’s the third time this week, use your imagination would ya?
WIFE: You think you're exaggerating just a little bit?
HUSBAND: Maybe. OKAY. I’m sorry. (Pushes food away) You got my newspaper?
WIFE: It’s right here. Oh honey! I was looking through the paper today and I saw this gorgeous dress, oh here it is! See it? I just GOT to have that dress!
HUSBAND: Huhuhoney, you can’t have that new dress, because the money that I make, I need to buy parts for the car out in the garage. Huh uhh?
WIFE: Anytime we get any extra money around here it goes to you and that stupid ole car! You never buy anything for me anymore.
HUSBAND: Well, that’s because I earn it! And you don’t!
WIFE: You earn it, huh?
HUSBAND: That’s right!
WIFE: What do you think I do, huh? I’m The one who stays here all day. Cooking your meals, cleaning your clothes, taking care of your kids! What do you call that? Recreation?
HUSBAND: You know something? Maybe you outta get that new dress! Always walking around with that stupid bathrobe, no make up on your face, I want a beautiful wife!
WIFE: It’s you! You come home all greased up and grimey, who am I supposed get dressed up for huh, doctor oz on the tv?
HUSBAND: Oh, oh, oh, tv now? Tv now, huh? What about vacation last year?
HUSBAND: All you ever did was sit in this stupid chair watching your stupid shows! What about that huhuhuh?
WIFE: It was a little more interesting than you! I wanted to go see the sights on my vacation but noooo, you wouldn’t even take me.
HUSBAND: You wanna go see the sights?
WIFE: Yeah, I do!
HUSBAND: Then go.
WIFE: (getting emotional) Well, maybe I will! And maybe I’ll take somebody with me. What do you think about that?
HUSBAND: (getting worked up.) Yeah? YEAH? YEAH? Well, you know what I want?
HUSBAND: I WANT A DIVORCE!
WIFE: Well, that’s just fine because I want one too!
HUSBAND: Well, I want one more than you.
WIFE: I want one!
HUSBAND: I want one!
WIFE: I want one.
HUSBAND: I want one.
WIFE: I want one.
BOTH: Ehhh, I want one.
HUSBAND: SHHHHHHHHHHhhhhh! We might wake up mommy and daddy.
WIFE: Oh, big deal. We’re just playing house, just like they do.